Throughout life one can and often times will get obsessed or even over obsessed with a certain idea, feeling, person, or object. Never have these quirky obsessions lasted longer then two weeks for me. In spite of that, it seems that I’ve become quite attached to Mountain Dew, and all of its wonderful variations. Of course it doesn’t help the fact that even when I tell my mother not to purchase it, she continues to, and provides me with a constant source of caffeine.

Caffeine is my drug; though of course there are many other various sources to obtain it from (I’m actually quite fond of coffee), I prefer Dew. I’ve always had a liking for Mountain Dew, and I drink it quicker then any other soda. I need to thoroughly get rid of this crazy, bottled, addiction all together, cold turkey or not! It’s caused me endless amounts of problems, heartache and grief. If I was as thoughtless and as money hungry as a good chunk of Americans are, I would surely be suing immediately. Instead, I am ending this relationship at once for the reasons below and more.


For causing me unnecessary hyper-ness for extended periods of time.

For causing me to use the restroom twice as much as one would think humanly possible.

For causing my mouth to suddenly become dry upon the site of the various bottles or cans of the soda, sadly this even reaches to the extent of Diet Mountain Dew, which is horrible.

For pulling me away from my once beloved water, orange juice, milk, strawberry milk, kool-aid (especially the blue kind), teas, coffee, and yummy juices.

For further seducing me with a wide array of colors and flavors, a few of which are limited to certain season and in extreme cases one restaurant; causing further need for consumption. Those flavors would be Baja Blast, Code Red, Pitch Black, and Live Wire for those who lack knowledge of Mountain Dew.

For confusing me with whether Pepsi Blue was actually supposed to be a variation of Mountain Dew or Pepsi, because it tasted nothing like Pepsi. I believe this could be a screw up in labels, and should also be assumed as a reason.

For producing t-shirts, hoodies, and other accessories sporting the Mountain Dew logo, causing me to splurge or want to splurge on such awesome merchandise.

For taking up way too much space in my refrigerator; which I’m quite sure my mother could have used for many other objects, such as bad leftovers or cold pizza.

For only receiving 5 cents back for every loyal dollar I’ve ever spent on a bottle.

For making me miserable when I’ve gone few too many days without consuming the liquid, presumably I believe one would call this caffeine withdrawal.

For making me carry and hide bottles in my backpack just incase of random caffeine cravings, and causing me to fear the teachers who may force me to get rid of it.


From here forth I’m declaring myself free from the need of Mountain Dew’s once powerful, caffeine control and moving on without it. I will once again be able to walk past a vending machine without being tempted to insert a dollar and slap the button repeatedly in hopes of getting double. Though maybe slightly over-exaggerated, getting rid of Mountain Dew would be a lot better for me and save me some mucho mullah to spend on more important things.